My little boyfriend...

"Momma, you go upstairs and blog!! We'll finish your chores today." a smile spread across his sweet lips and the twinkle in his eyes confirmed his sincerity.

"But...but...I've got to.."

"No, go upstairs!"

The miles that little brain has traveled these past few days! His scruffy brown hair and dirty feet proudly pronounce he is all boy!

Over the past several weeks, I've watched his eyes wide with wonder as he hit that baseball like a wild man swatting at a mosquito! Catching pop fly balls and peering over at the bleachers to see if we saw him get that one out...again.

Contesting on that final championship Bible Quiz game and...yes..he was correct! Receiving the trophy that set his team apart from all others in the State.

He likes to be good...at whatever he does. My little, competitive man.

Oh, the amazing wonder of being his momma!

Sometimes...like this morning, when I received an enormous kiss from his eight-year old lips, I feel a little like the girl on the playground that was brought a love-note from her favorite secret admirer. My heart skips a beat and I know that I'm special to him.

I've been told by sister that there is a friend-girl that he's claiming. Hmmm....not so sure about this. Right now, I want that position. I know what brings smiles to my boy. I like to woo him. I like to feel his arms around my shoulders...squeezing tight! I enjoy the love notes and best momma letters he gives me.

I tenderly watch him care for his siblings. Playing tumble with Luke and baseball with Lincoln. Legos and house with Anna. Watching him read a book to her and hearing them both laugh out loud at the story.

Then there are those moments that are not so fun. Correcting when needed. That look of "I'm sorry, Mom" and sometimes a note of apology given. Hushing that distasteful undertone....learning the importance of kindness and respect. Tears of repentance that follows.

Hearing the seriousness of prayer in his whispered voice. Knowing that there are those special times, when he's usually not aware, that God has used that young voice to speak to peace to my soul. I've never ceased to be amazed at those times. Only God knew I needed to hear that!

I look into his eyes and see some of me...but mostly his daddy. I like that. I see a heart that is tender and sincere. Though there is much growing up to do, I am beginning to see a man emerge.

So..I take him in my arms and hold him...just like the day he was placed there by Dr. Ball on that beautiful October night. I snuggle close to face and just savor the moment....knowing that, all too soon, he will be graduating into the adult that I've prayed eighteen years for him to be.

Who knows where the direction of God's plan will lead him?

Just now he rushes upstairs and announces the completion of the housework. Even to the small details of "hanging up your clothes and putting the twins clothes up...wiping down the counter top and sweeping the house clean."


I certainly cannot lay claim to Best Momma of the Year Award. I know my faults. I'm too familiar with my insecurities and shortcomings as a mother. But this thing I know.....

Like Dave Ramsey, I am blessed beyond what I deserve!

What we do for entertainment....

(Who needs TV when you've got this little guy 24/7? LOL)

Looking for a man?

The simple pleasure of a returned smile from his lips. 18 years of it. All mine. Four wonderful gifts given to me by his love.

Luck? Noooooo. Luck is too iffy. It reminds me of the lottery. Much invested there....maybe, maybe not.

Providence. Grace. His Plan.

I'm grateful. More than thankful.....much more.

Anyone looking for a man? Let my words penetrate your spirit:



Find one that rises early. Earlier than the sun.

You will never have to worry whether or not he will work and support your home.



Find one that prays early. Earlier than the sun.

You will never have to question his integrity, worth or honor.



Find a man that looks another way when a lady of the night meets him in the way....whether by walking at Walmart or viewing Hollywood.

You will always live with trust.



Find a man who loves children...giving them love and attention.

A good daddy can be hard to find.




Other qualities are important...but these are essential. Think they are too much for any man you know?

(Smile tweaks the lips.)

Pray.

You will see.

They are out there.

I know. June 12, 1992 I said "I do" to one.

Spiritual Toxicity

4:45am

Quiet, still morning. All four babies still tucked in sweetly and comfy in their beds. Too early for noise.

Outside..fresh air...grass wet with dew.

Only the morning songs of birds can be heard. Cup of steaming, hot detox tea in hand;) Bible on lap and notepad.

Waiting. Listening.

Light barely peeking over the tree tops.

Heart heavy.

Where does spiritual erosion begin? As a disease, it is so slow...fatigue..lethargy...unconcern...prayer times slipping away...self indulgence... looking for the easy way...

My "Word" opens to a familiar and much loved verse:

"And now, Israel, what doth the Lord thy God require of thee, but to fear the Lord thy God, to walk in all his ways, and to love him, and serve the Lord thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul.
To keep the commandments of the Lord, and his statutes, which I command thee this day for thy good?
Behold, the heaven and the heaven of heavens is the Lord's thy God, the earth also, with all that therein is." Deuteronomy 10:12-14

Toxicity begins in the heart. If left untreated and untamed, it is comparable to a cancer carrying it's poisons to the mind....producing anger, lust, bitterness and, worst of all, self-justification. The end result is spiritual confusion (there is no guidance from Him) and deception (what is real truth anymore?).

I have felt it's lethal injections into my spirit. It has immunized me from being sensitive to His Spirit. I've experienced the distress of living days with SELF as supreme.

But I also know the transforming power of His Spiritual Detox Plan!

Psalms 51:

2) Wash me thoroughly (and repeatedly) from my iniquity and guilt and cleanse me and make me wholly pure from my sin!

3) For I am conscious of my transgressions and I acknowledge them; my sin is ever before me.

4) Against You, You only, have I sinned and done that which is evil in Your sight....

7) Purify me with hyssop clean (ceremonially); wash me, and I shall (in reality) be whiter than snow.

8) Make me to hear joy and gladness and be satisfied...

10) Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering and steadfast spirit within me.

11) Cast me not away from Your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me.

12) Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.


Restoration is beautiful!! The answer is simple:

Psalms 50:23 AMP
"He who brings an offering of praise and thanksgiving honors and glorifies Me; and he who orders his way aright (who prepares the way that I may show him), to him I will demonstrate the salvation of God."

Feeling the struggle? Straining to put on a church act? It doesn't have to be that way....make it real. Let Him come alive again. It will bring power back into your worship. Lifted hands will not be heavy.

Let the heaven and earth sing inside. He wants you. His love is fresh. He is faithful.

Invest in Jesus.

"His desire is toward me. He is altogether lovely. He is my beloved..."

Schools Out!!!

Whew!! This incredibly wonderful room we call school room two-thirds of the year, has been redecorated, cleaned and ready for the summer months of now fun and play! Working through the rubble of curriculum books, calendars, flashcards, pencils and notebooks, we finally accomplished the glorious year-end of Kindergarten and Second Grade. My eight-year-old scrubbed walls and curly girl vacuumed floors with anticipation that today was IT! Smiling and singing, I remembered the last day of school as a kid. It was like waiting for Christmas to arrive! No more schedules, no more early mornings of cereal, no more tests and cranky teachers :) (I'm sure, at this moment, my kiddies are thinking the same thing: FREEDOM!!!)

But...it's different for me now. As I gently close their little books and fold the countless art projects, math pages and put their readers along side the other books in the bookshelf, I feel a bit down. Their childlike handwriting...seeing the fulfilling progress throughout the year of reading, writing, math, Bible memory, etc....the many field trips, nature trail walks, nursing home services and shows at the Dixie.....those sweet "Honor Roll" dates we would take them on when they completed each school day's requirement for the month.... I feel so blessed to have enjoyed each of these moments with them.

We never dreamed we would go down this road. Home Education was not our cup of tea! We wanted better for our kids....until they came. Now we are hooked!

Education has taken on a whole new meaning for me. I've been given a responsibility from their Creator. It's more than textbooks...it's lifestyles. It's attitudes and accountability. At this point, my heart cuts me with guilt. What are they really learning from me?

I'm beginning to feel like this is more of a learning experience for me than it is them.

Summer is coming and it's time to.....

just be mommy.

Be blessed!!!!

Gifts....

Emma Louise Spencer....

Our latest addition to the family! She is a delightful bundle of beauty. Soft, rosy cheeks and an overabundance of blond hair! Holding her will give anyone the paternal desire to want...hmmm, better not say that here ;)

Her mommy is a delight to me. I consider it a privilege to be related to someone so very special.

Memories take me back to a day when we sat on the old pews of our Uncle James' church. Each girl-cousin sat side by side looking (what we thought) very stylish and classy with our large, square, fake glasses on! Everyone was fooled...but only for a while ;)

The love, laughter and special togetherness we've shared. Living under the same roof for a few months during our "pre-wed" days. Whew! We learned alot and really didn't realize it at the time! The generosity of aunts and uncles and their encouraging words.

When I see this beautiful woman that I call "cousin", I see a woman of inner strength, talent, kindness, tactful grace and, most of all, a Woman of God.

There have been hard times...struggles...challenges...that seem to pull every ounce of joy from our soul. But...Faith has been the balance that has kept Endurance strong.

Emma Louise, you are blessed!

Although you've breathed in this fresh, May air only a few days, your life has been favored. God has placed you in the arms of a most gracious Lady to call Mommy. You've been given parents that love Him above all. A beautiful, big sister that, may wish you were sent back to the hospital...but only for a few days, will teach you how to play, potty and sing!

Although you are a gift, you've been given a gift.....a loving home.

When I held you in my arms yesterday, my heart spoke the words that often come from my lips during the first moments I see a new baby, "Here, O Israel, the Lord our God is one....and thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart." That is something very special that your mommy and daddy will instill in you. May these words be permanently bound to every corner of your heart, mind and soul. They are the answers to all of life's questions. Loving Him. It really is that simple, Emma Louise.

I love your new name. It has an elegant sound to it! You carry the name of your great grandmother. That's important.....knowing who you are. Too many are confused about this. It's easy to become that way in this generation. Follow closely in His steps and you will never become confused, baby girl.

You are beautiful and I wish you the very best this new life has to offer you!

Love,

Aunt Dar

7 days

"Momma, I'm putting your computer in time-out!" Those cute, little words proceeded from her lips and quickly reminded me of the all-too-many hours I've indulged in emails, blogging and....I hate to admit it: FB.

Sacred, timeless moments with my children have been sacrificed for this square box of personal entertainment.....how sad.

So, in an effort to revamp my real calling in life, I am pushing this addictive-driven, time-thief away for 7 days.

My plans are these:

To enjoy each day with my children.

To learn more with them and about them.

To have dinner on time.

To spend more time with my Savior and Best Friend.

To have a cleaner house.

To stay out of other people's business on FB.

Be, especially, to be the wife and mother I watched my momma be.....

I don't think these days will be wasted! ;)

(I don't ever remember her staying on the computer, much less having one!)

Love you all!
Darla