The Sacredness of Christmas

This happens to me every year about this time....

I start thinking about Him. The sacrifice. The selfless life. Why He came. I just can't hold it back. Tears come to my eyes and an overwhelming sense of belonging to Someone much more Awesome than Life itself.

I can't shrink away from pondering....wondering....the sacredness of this Season. The beauty and timeless hope it brings not only to me, but everyone that as ever been born! The Birth brought the Cross. He knew it, too.

The stress of gifts, parties, decorating, musicals, dramas, plays, trying to please...just seem to fade to the importance of Him. There is the very real feeling of being unworthy. Words are inadequate to really describe. I know me. He knows me. Yet, He loves me. That's when my soul fills with worship. I want my children to know. And while they have the Nativity Story well-rehearsed, I want them to feel the sacredness... It's a life-changing experience. It's when Christmas comes ALIVE!

Yes, I know.... There is this crazy, insane fight for every one's worship during the month of December. Worship is where our heart really is. Could it be the beautifully ornamented tree? Maybe the gifts that I've been saving for months to purchase? Could it even be the fun, little fantasies of this season? No....when it comes to Jesus...Emmanuel...God with us....

Nothing can compare to Him!

And, while my children and I will celebrate His glorious birth with a birthday cake, candles, ice-cream and balloons singing "Happy Birthday, Jesus" in only a few days, my heart will be filled with something much deeper.....

Thankfulness.

"O holy night, the stars are brightly shining.

It is the night of our dear Saviour's birth....

O night divine! O night when Christ was born!"

Merry Christmas to you all! May your holiday be filled with lasting JOY!!

Love, Darla

Silly Surprises!

I can still remember last night! Daddy sitting at the end of our dining room table with both twins on either side playing with playdo. Daddy had worked late and was eating his supper just before bedtime. My sweet little boys were clad in orange UT pajamas and eagerly shaping their playdo in delight! Daddy talking and eating his huge salad a hundred miles and hour as I worked in the kitchen. Suddenly, a silly grin crossed his face as he asked, "Who threw the playdo?" I looked clueless. He continued, "My last bite of salad had a chunk of salty something in it. I knew what happened when I saw bright pink on my plate!"

Some memories are just to priceless to not share! :)

Have a blessed day!

Darla

A NEW REVELATION?

"God doesn't care what our outside looks like, He's just interested in what's inside." The innocence flowed from her lips as I listened contently.

Yeah, that's definitely a common religious quote. For months I have pondered this very statement as I'd watched so many build their new found experience around it. What used to be sacred has suddenly become unimportant.

Hmmmm.....God, I know there are answers. Yes, there are scriptures...there are explanations....interpretations... But nothing can beat personal revelation light. And today I needed a little!

In His loving, gentle way the Lord brought a picture of His body dying on that bloody tree to mind. He reminded me that He gave me all. Inside and out. Flesh and Spirit. Nothing held back.

He doesn't just want a part of me. He wants complete control of everything I am. Body, soul, mind and spirit. So, it IS important to You! What I think, what I wear, how I act....You want it ALL. Wow!! How beautiful this picture of self-less love is. Your Word really is my guideline for living. Thank You. Thank You! You didn't leave anything out :)

Yes, a few deep questions were answered for me today. I'm thankful that my Master taught me. Just a side note: whatever I am feeding my spirit and mind on will eventually show up in my appearance. Is this a New Revelation? I don't think so.

My prayer: Lord, give me Your heart for those things that are truly important. Let my outward Lady not be ruled by Hollywood, the latest trend or other's opinion and my inward Lady be seasoned with love and gentleness. Because if I don't love it, I won't live it. Let my mind be filled with Christ-likeness so that when others see me~they see You. Thank You, in Jesus' precious Name...amen.

"When I was a kid...."

I couldn't believe I was saying this....I sounded just like my momma!

She said it everytime we visited this place. I was ever so glad when she didn't refer to her past.

We climbed the dusty, gravel road with bumps every few inches. Our 2007 Dodge minivan hasn't known roads like these before!

I soaked in the sunshine and enjoyed every crook that road led us down. My mind flew back to the years I'd wandered down this same road as a kid with my cousins. Dirty feet and soggy clothes from swimming in the creek all day and eating hot dogs, marshmallows...just junk, pure junk!

I peered over at my curly girl and her brother remembering that this land was completely foreign to me as a child, too. I was raised in the city with Walmart and a Mall near our house. At that time, I didn't know if I really liked this sort of country life-style. Maybe the ticks and mosquitoes liked me too much, or it could of been the fact that my Uncle Les and Aunt Wanda made their kids do the dinner dishes. We called it a vacation, but for me it was important life lessons that I now appreciate! Whatever the case, it was only until we were leaving to go home that I realized how much I truly enjoyed myself.

Aunt Wanda's fresh, brown country eggs were always more tasty than those bought at Kroger. I couldn't stand the sight of a raw, skinned catfish after we caught several. But the taste, after they'd been fried, was unbelievable!

Today I peered out the kitchen windows of Uncle Lester's cabin at my boy fishing on the dock of Little Black and my heart swelled with memories. This cabin had undergone many nice changes since I slept here as a kid, but it was still a part of my childhood. I remembered the beach and floating down the river on a raft. I wanted to sink back into those times for only a day.

And, here I go, saying it just like my momma, "When I was a kid...." I smiled knowing that my kids could care less about my goings on. But whatever the case, let me say it anyway! :)

Selah....continued

Day 5 at Granna's

"Adore"

Every female on this planet wants to feel that they are adored by someone. Camilia had written. Though over a century later, Selah felt the fervency of that statement. Even as a newborn babe, a girl knows if she is being loved and adored by her parents. She must feel wanted...needed...loved. Camilia's words made a lasting impression on Selah.

Selah felt stronger today. She was sitting on the wicker porch swing sipping iced tea and devouring the next volume of Camilia's diary. Katie was sitting neatly on the braided rug beside Selah's hand bag. Granna was working on the front porch giving her miniature poodle, Sassy, a good bubble bath in the metal washtub. Sassy was obviously enjoying every scrub.

"Granna, did Grampa make you feel adored?" Looking up from the journal, Selah asked inquisitively.



Granna paused to think for a moment. Grampa had been gone for four years now. "Grampa sure loved me an awful lot, honey." Then she spoke quietly, "I loved him, too. He was a man of respect and honor." Then she thought a little more. "Say, you may not completely understand what I'm telling you right now. But throughout time women have desired to know that their Prince Charming on his white horse lives only for them. That's why there are so many romantic stories of princesses!" Granna smiled. She continued, "There's been alot of disappointed wives when they discover that soon after the ceremony their man wants to go fishing....without them!" Now Selah was laughing. Sassy barked in delight as she jumped from the wash tub and shook off water all over Granna! It was a sight!



Although, sprinkled with Sassy's bath water, Granna was enjoying the entertainment. She sat down beside Selah and smoothed her blond ringlets between her fingers as she whispered in a more solemn voice, "Never expect too much from those you love and you'll never be disappointed. " Granna took a sip of iced tea and continued, "Honey, Jesus adores you...He made you so unique and special. Always remember that He will never disappoint you." Her words touched a tender place in Selah's heart. She knew it was true.

"Come on, Say, let's go make some ice-cream! My neighbor just brought me a bushel full of fresh picked strawberries and I just know they are gonna be delicious in that cream!" Selah closed the much admired journal and picked up ever observant Katie as she and Granna went in the house arm in arm grinning at the prospect of homemade ice-cream.

(to be continued)

Selah....continued

Day 4

Warm Peppermint Tea, A Diary & Rest

Sweat beads dripped down Selah's forehead as she threw the quilt back and sighed.

The worried look on Granna's face was exchanged for a smile of relief. "Honey, you've been shivering like a frog on ice for the past two days. Your Granna is thankful this fever's finally broke." Selah gave a weak, tired grin.

"Sorry I came and got sick on you, Granna."

"Don't you fret about this, Say. Getting sick is just an unfortunate part of life! God puts an amazing 'fight back' in each of us...and that's what you've been doing. I sure don't know what brought it on, except that maybe you just needed to rest..here at Granna's." The smile was back along with a warm cup of herbal tea. Peppermint tea. Selah's favorite.

Granna closed the door behind her as she went back downstairs.

Selah pulled herself up in the soft bed and leaned against fluffy pillows. She looked over at the pink Wild Wonder rose bouquet...the bright sunny window with shades partly drawn...her nightstand with Bible close at hand.

Hmmm...the last thing I remember was going to bed cold...really cold. Wonder if Granna's called Momma yet? Oh, I hope not! She'll worry about me. Selah's thoughts were whirling as she happened to notice an old book laying on her night stand under her Bible. The book looked worn and well read. She picked it up and, out of curiosity, opened the yellowed pages.

Looks like a diary. Wonder who.....Oh, it says here....Camilia Elaine Staten. I remember Granna saying that she was Ivey's sister. Selah began to read.

"October 6, 1889 'I peered through this upstairs, bedroom window of my sister Ivey's house. The sun shines through as I see him very distantly working in the garden....' " Selah drew in her breath as she wondered who he was? She remembered Granna had informed her of that Aunt Camilia never married.

Selah felt a tinge of guilt over reading someone's private writings, but curiosity got the best of her and she continued.

Selah turned on the lamp beside her bed just as she finished reading the first volume of Aunt Camilia's diary. Oh my, I must have been reading for hours! This is was so intriguing that I just couldn't put it down.

She giggled as she read about Camilia's teenage twin brothers trying to paint Ivey's kitchen...paint spilled everywhere! Tears filled her eyes when she discovered the love that Camilia had for him was never returned. He was never revealed by name. Although, Selah had a full description of what he looked like and even his reserved personality.

Camilia's handwriting was very flowery and exquisite. She must have been beautiful! Selah imagined her to be as beautiful as her name. I wonder if she knew God. Her last thoughts were interrupted by Granna's entrance.

"How are you feeling, Say? You look better." Granna had brought up an enticing tray of chicken and dumplings, buttermilk cornbread and a tall glass of fresh lemonade. Selah's eyes lit up, "Thank you, Granna! I'm starving! I hope it was alright that I've been reading Aunt Camilia's diary. I just finished it."

Granna touched the old book. "I left it here for you, honey. There's so much history there. You need to know who you are." Selah didn't quite understand that statement. Granna continued, "Your ancestors have left each of us a rich heritage. Something to be proud of! I'm bringing you the next three volumes of Camilia's diaries. She very carefully documented much of our family's history during that time period. Camilia died young, but left a lasting legacy in diaries."

As Selah tasted the delicious dumplings, she pondered in her heart....It's so sad to think that Camilia didn't get to have children and live a long, happy life! She sounds so creative and interesting.

Granna explained that she had all Camilia's diaries safely stored in the attic. Ivey had put them there when Camilia passed away. She wanted to preserve as much of her sister's memory as she could. Granna promised that Selah could take them home with her to read and study if she wanted to. Selah excitedly agreed that she would be very careful and return them as soon as she finished reading them.

Selah was still left with the question when Granna kissed her good-night, I wonder if Camilia knew God?

(to be continued)

Thank God for FREEDOM!!! Happy Fourth Everyone!!

"Selah And The Special Dress" will be continued next week....

Have a happy and safe fourth of July!!!


Consider real freedom:

Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is LIBERTY!!!

Love you all~





Darla

"Selah And The New Dress" continued...

Day 2

"Granna's Rose Garden"

Granna tenderly touched Selah's blond curls as the last shades of light disappeared from the tree tops.


What a day! My little angel is sleeping so soundly.... Granna remembered the tea party she and Selah had enjoyed by the rose garden. With heavily scented yellow cabbage roses to the left, an inviting table set for two was complete with warm country peach tea and vanilla tea cakes. Of course, Katie accompanied them. Katie went to all of Selah's tea parties! She was given to her by Granna as a birthday gift three years ago. Her weathered skin and fading gingham dress showed the special affection Selah had for her. She sat still and quiet on the patch work quilt beside the wrought iron bistro set where the two ladies immersed themselves in friendship, tea and stories.



"Selah and Katie, I want you two to know that this very rose garden was planted many, many years ago by Grandmother Sadie's mother, Ivey Elizabeth. Because of careful pruning and much attention over the years, it has not only survived, but thrived into a lovely, delicate garden. The red tea roses in the back are named after President Lincoln and the white and yellow cabbage roses were planted by my momma, Ona. The pink tea rose on the far right is named Wild
Wonder. I planted it the day you were born. See how tall and beautiful it has become? Even since last year, it is yielding more blooms! Mmmmm...smell it, doesn't it have a delightful scent? Those are the roses I chose for the bouquet in your room."

"Granna, what is the oldest rose in your garden?" Selah asked.



"Well, Say, we've replaced many of the older bushes, but the lavender florabunda rose has been here since great Grandmother Ivey planted it. It's name is Enchanted Evening. Here, take one." Granna gently plucked off one of the luscious blooms and handed it to Selah.



"Granna, how did Enchanted Evening survive all these years?", Selah's curiosity was obvious. "Well, honey, your question is a good one. I asked my mother the same thing! Your great Grandmother Ona answered me this way. 'When you love something so dearly, you are willing to do whatever it takes to preserve it. My mother Sadie was always very careful to water the Enchanted Evening first because it represented something her mother, Ivey Elizabeth, loved.' So, Selah, it must have been the love that we've each one had for our mother that has provoked us to care for Enchanted Evening. It's kind of like a heritage of love. Momma picked a rose from this same bush and explained to me the importance of loving one another. From that, she pointed out that we show our love for one another by taking care of one another's needs.....

just as we've done for this rose." Selah was speechless. She marvelled at the memories Granna shared of the Enchanted Evening rose and how special their love for one another really is.....from generation to generation.


"Oh, Granna, that's so beautiful." Selah whispered.



Back in Selah's room, Granna shook her head and smiled remembering today. She gently pulled the warm blanket over Selah's shoulders. She quietly thanked the Lord for this time she shared with her granddaughter.


"Lord, let these moments be special ones. With Your crowning approval, I ask that Selah's heart be opened to Your Way. Please help me to be sensitive to Your timing this week. I've waited eight years for this! Thank You, Lord. In Jesus' Name I ask these things, amen."

Granna kissed Selah's soft cheek as she rose quietly from the bed and dimmed the lamp as she slipped out the door and down the stairs.




(to be continued)

"Selah And The Special Dress" Day 1

Dedicated to my favorite Curly Girl, Anna Elizabeth Kaye.

Day 1

"Selah visits Granna"

The sun streamed through the window into Selah's (Say-la) room. She opened her sleepy eyes and stretched her arms wide as she flung the soft, pink comforter to the side. Her eyes glanced at the clock, "It's 7 o'clock in the morning....a whole week with Granna!!!" She dressed quickly and neatly folded the covers over her white princess bed. Selah carefully straightened her room, smoothed her blond curls into a pony tail and headed for the breakfast table.



Half-way through her cereal, the phone rang. It was Granna. "I'll be there in 20 minutes, honey. You be ready!"



Eight-year old Selah had waited weeks for this day to come. She had packed her suitcase the night before and could hardly sleep for excitement.





A honk announced Granna's arrival. After good-bye kisses to Mom, Dad and her older brother...she was out the door!





The winding, country road to Granna's house was dotted with wildflowers and canopied by beautiful trees. After a mile or so, it turned to a gravel road. Selah looked at Granna and asked, "Can I run the rest of the way, Granna?"





"Of course, Say!" It was Granna's special nickname that made Selah smile as she unbuckled her seat belt and hopped out.





Granna's house was unique and unlike any other she'd ever been in. It had antiques of years gone by and wooden floors that held the scars and scrapes of many generations of children. Granna and Grampa had moved in that beautiful old house when her 92 year old, Grandmother Sadie, had needed someone to move in with her. It had been in the family for well over a century. Although remodeled and refurbished, it's large, three-story structure still held a distinguished appeal to it. Selah loved hearing the stories of Grandmother Sadie's adventures. The stories of the wishing well on the back of their property was her favorite! Grandmother Sadie had been born in that house and so had all nine of her children. Years of family heirlooms and treasures were stored high up in the attic.





Granna's kitchen was always filled with the aroma of fresh baked bread and usually a homemade pie or cookies. The cabinets had been replaced a few years ago with sturdy oak panels polished nicely. Granna always took special pride in her kitchen and her cooking. She never allowed a dirty dish to lay in her sink very long! She had taught Selah how to knead the dough and shape the bread before putting it in the oven.





Selah carried her fire-engine red suitcase to the top of the stairs. Her room was ready for her! It was a small room with a large, bright window overlooking the rose garden. The walls were pink and white stripped and there was a feather bed on the left that was so soft, Selah would dive in, sinking down in shear delight! Granna had thoughtfully placed a bouquet of Selah's favorite pink roses on the ornately carved antique dresser. The scent of the her freshly cut garden roses was delicious!





A whole week here! Hmmm....wonder what Granna has planned? She pondered as she neatly placed her clothes in the tall, white chest beside her bed. Selah carried her Bible to the night stand on the other side of the bed and whispered a simple prayer that this would be a week to always remember....





(to be continued)

Happy Birthday To My "Wonder Woman"

There is an amazing woman that I'm privileged to know and love.

She likes soft, flannel sheets.

Her favorite restaurant is Outback...the 14 oz. Ribeye.

A few of her favorite things are vegetable gardens, heavily scented cabbage roses, baby chicks, pet rabbits, her grandchildren, her Momma and a table covered in Southern Comfort food!

Her house if filled with photo albums, framed pictures of her grandchildren and their artwork.

Call her anytime and she will have a complete meal ready and waiting for company in less than an hour!

She has those envious "smiley wrinkles" from years of positive thoughts, words and actions.

She cares deeply for everyone.

She doesn't have time to be a "neat-freak" or OCB...she's too busy sewing little dresses for granddaughter's baby dolls, fishing with her grandsons or taking video clips of the latest little one learning to walk.

Does she have enemies? I don't know of any and I don't think she's aware of any. She just couldn't bear the thought of having one. Oh, I'm sure there are those that envy her resilience and kindness....I have, myself, at times! But, she has always managed to find the very best in everyone.

She is loved by many.

I've often wondered what is the emotional make-up of this incredible lady that makes her so unique from all the others?

It must be her unwavering unselfishness.

She lives for others. She lays no claim to her own way...her own wants...her time. And the most amazing thing is that she does it all with gladness. As if it were a privilege to offer her help.

She is a pleasant person, not one that is moody. In the thirty-some years I've known her, she's had very few down days. Gone through hard times? Plenty of those, probably more than her share. She just doesn't let it affect her enthusiasm for life!

Only the tired eyes reveal how she truly feels. "I'm fine" is her answer to how she feels 24/7. (I love this one!)

Her attitude is not ruled or dictated by hormones!

As with the increasing number of people now days, She doesn't rely on medication to be content or happy.

So, what is her secret?

Is it her deep relationship with the Lord? or is she just naturally born this way? I wish I knew. Believe me, I've wondered about this one! It must be a combination of both.

She is a rare individual. One that is unforgettable.

To her ten (#11 is in the oven and due in a few months) grandchildren, she is a Queen! She doesn't spoil her grandchildren, she only corrects them when absolutely necessary and very lovingly and gentle. I don't remember her ever criticizing or raising her voice at any of my children.

She looks like a "Memaw" and isn't ashamed that age has slowly crept in her hair or drawn lines on her face. Her self confidence is not lacking. She doesn't have to try to look thirty years younger. She's content to be in this season of her life.

Memaw's house is not a three story mansion decorated with silk and tapestry, but her place is a palace to my children and the most desired place to be. Offer them a week in Hawaii, Disney World or Memaw's house....it's an easy choice for them! (Think that's an exaggeration? Ask 'em....I just did!)

Today is her 59th Birthday.

We celebrate her beauty, inward and outward, this day and commend the beautiful lady that gave birth to her, Granny Mary, for giving us a gift from heaven.

Charnelsa Kay Diller, I am blessed to call you "Momma".

Happy Birthday!

I love you!

Why I go....

A sense of expectancy fills the air! We've gathered again to feast. A banquet has been prepared by the host of heaven and we've been invited to "come".

Three times a week we gather. To sing. Worship. Share. Listen.

Tonight....the beauty of hands raised and hearts full of His praise crown the final song. Just as the minister comes to deliver what God inspired, my rambunctious two (and sometimes four) begin that parade of restlessness, throwing whatever is near by and punctuating it all with those loud, outside voices.

Deep inner sigh....I scoop up my #2 twin, open hallway door, release the energizer bunny and follow his toddler steps to the brightly lit foyer.

Sundays are long, weary days for me. Mixed emotions of the joy and privilege to gather twice that day and yet wrestle with our little angels as Jacob did thousands of years ago. (Only it's my back rather than the hollow of my thigh that gets out of joint!)

I love to saturate myself in the love of God's people as we fellowship and pray for one another. So many services I've left with the weight of worry lifted from my burdened shoulders...just knowing that God was going to take care of it.

And He did.

Yes, I've seen the unveiled "humanness" of those present. I've felt disappointment...until I realize I've disappointed others. I truly believe the Love that flows from the inner fountains of His Spirit deep within us covers all things. We are His Body.

Sinking down into one of the foyer's overstuffed guest chair, I listened through the opened doors to the ministed Word as Luke makes a well worn path in front of the glass doors.

From my point of view, I could see the nicely trimmed hair of men and skillfully designed hairdos of women that I call "Brother and Sister in Christ". New believers...children...Elderly saints...

I pondered as I sat.

Some are here because of obligation to Pastor, parents or whoever they feel accountable to....some come for tradition....others are here out of curiosity....still some gather to be seen or heard....and yet, there are those very wonderful and enviable individuals that have tasted His glory and come purposefully. They are driven by desire. Passion. They know Him....and He speaks to them.

Hmmmm..... my mind raced back throughout the years. I am fifth-generation Apostolic. I've experienced each one of those reasons for coming. In the ebb and flow of life, I am still experiencing them.

I'm remembering as an eight year old being submerged by water baptism in the name of Jesus. I received the Holy Ghost (as in Acts 2:38) by my bedside with Mom and Dad praying for me.

Did my life change then? Good question.

Six years of wanderings past. Wandering and tasting youth. Which road to choose? The way of my parents or the desire of my eye?

At fourteen I found Him. More than just that taste of honey that I received as a child. My heart longed for something deeper. I needed Him. His arms were opened to me. He melted my heart. No words could describe the fulfillment that Jesus revealed to me in relationship with Him.

I was truly in love. Gathering weekly to worship was my delight! Spending hours in His Word became the steady diet of my day. Witnessing the miracles of His touch on my life only drew my heart closer to His.

Whatever...where ever, Lord. Let me follow You. Like a starving man feasting on a table of delicacies....just hearing His voice speaking tenderly to my spirit lit a fire....I wanted more.

Throughout every season of my life, I've still yet to find a love that compares to His. The love of a husband....children...parents...best friends...are the height of human love. His love is different.

That Love has carried me through years of good times and bad times.

Now, with four beautiful children to prepare each Sunday morning, I sometimes collapse on the pew after each one has been carefully assisted to their Sunday School class. And the weariness that follows an evening service of wrestling with toddlers can cause me to question whether it's really worth going.

But, then He comes. His Word refreshes me. His Spirit lifts my heart full of cares....concerns....desperate to hear. Hoping that the wrestling match between my twins doesn't cause too much distraction, I whisper a prayer for help, and as always....Help arrives.


I'm understanding that each time I gather my little chicks around me (yes, I do feel like a mother hen sometimes!) and we make our nest on the third row of section D, I am making an investment. An investment in their lives and mine.

I'm praying that the day will come when, as an adult, they will gladly say, "I am sixth-generation Apostolic!"

That is why I go.....

His First Youth Camp...

We packed in a frenzy Sunday morning after church.

Going on the advice of our great friends, the Grays, we headed for Lake Benson where eight and nine-year olds were running everywhere...

It was time for Youth Camp!

Excitement filled the air and suitcases lined the dorms. Quickly after checking in and being searched for head lice, Landon scouted the crowd for his fellow Bible Quizzers!

Wow...three days without Mom and Dad! Three fun filled days of friends, ice-cream cones and activities! Three days without chores and responsibilities! I know he felt like a FREE MAN!!!

Bro. Clay, his Counselor, reassured us that he would be well taken care of. Landon had quizzed with his son, Wes, and really liked them both. I was glad for that!

I had packed three days worth of casual clothes neatly in gallon sized plastic zip-lock bags with each day written on the front in black marker. I packed all his bathroom toiletries in a duffel bag and any thing else necessary was placed nice and securely in his black suitcase. Everything was organized and looked great! With a disposable camera on hand and $20 for spending money...Landon was ready to go.

He glanced up at me, "Mom are you about to cry?"

"I could if I let myself." Biting my lip, I didn't want to put a damper on this day for him.

I reminisced of my Youth Camp days...those days were so carefree. I was more shy and hesitant to make new friends. But, by the end of the week, I was surrounded by wonderful new friends with names and addresses to keep in touch throughout the year. Time goes by so fast!

The drive took about an hour. He grinned the whole way! I knew the entire $20 would be spent on ice-cream cones....

Leaving him that Sunday night with a crowd of kids and Counselors was difficult for me! His assuring nod that "You can go now, Momma. I'll be alright" helped me and Daddy load the twins in the van and head for home.

Back home, Landon was greatly missed!!! Every day I prayed for him. I wanted the Lord to give him "God Experiences" at camp that would last a lifetime.

Finally, Wednesday came and we drove back down that beautifully tree-lined street to the Camp Ground to pick up my boy!

I spotted him immediately....my heart melted! His Counselor was near by and reported that Landon had been well behaved. (Whew!) Clay directed me to the boy's dorm deck where I could retrieve his luggage. I looked around at all those little guy's luggage laying around and clothes/underwear/etc drying on the deck's sunshine from what must have been a water fight!

He said his good-byes and climbed into the van. All the way home he shared cute stories and interesting adventures...we laughed over and over!

He and Luke (fellow Bible Quizzer) had been inseparable. He was chased by girls (and didn't like it...he'll feel different about that in a few years!) He and all his dorm buddies had an awesome time together...

He actually had $6 left of the $20 we had given him!! Amazing!

I asked if he took any pictures with the disposable camera. "No, Mom...I couldn't get that thing to work!"

"Did you ask Bro. Clay to help you?"

"Naw, I figured if I didn't know how, surely he wouldn't know either!" We laughed. Mainly because Clay is a doctor.

Everything had been squeezed back into his two pieces of luggage. Including pillow and sleeping bag. (I still don't know how they did it!)

When I unzipped the suitcase lid...Ewwww! I rummaged through damp, dirty clothes all wadded up and stuffed together.....Ugh! Remainders of what must have been a great time on the water slide!

I asked if he wore his dressy shirts during the evening services. "No, Mom, I just wore this" (what he had on...red T-shirt and dirty jeans) "Did you take a shower each night before church?"

"Not Tuesday night. Bro. Clay smelled my hair and said it smelled good."

His daddy and I were really laughing now...

"You haven't had a shower since Monday night?"

"Well, not really." (Lan is not one that considers a shower to be luxurious!)

Today has been his first full day home...he's been napping since 3pm. Now, with the sun setting and he's still zonked, it's evident to me that my little boyfriend has had a wonderful time at his first year of Youth Camp!

Oh yeah, his Aunt Angela reported that he did, indeed, have some God Experiences....he danced and praised God and was renewed in the Holy Ghost....doesn't get any better than that!

Happy Daddy's Day!!!

The look of panic crossed his face the moment he knew.

I remember it so well! I had carefully placed a pair of yellow baby booties and my pregnancy test in a beautiful gift bag.

It was our first.

For nine years we were FREE. Free to stay up late (if we wanted to). Free to travel anywhere, eat anywhere without interruptions and cold food. Free to think, act and feel however this husband and wife team wanted to! It was great.

Things would never be the same....and he, this man of mine...this reality-thinker, understood this.

Now, almost a decade later and four (or actually three) positive pregnancy tests later...I am looking at a man that I am so grateful to call the Father of my children.

Think he'd do it all again?.....the twinkle in his eyes the moment babies come running and wrapping their little arms around his pants leg at lunch reveal to me that, yes, undoubtly yes. Besides, who in their right mind would want to trade all those free kisses and hugs for an immaculate house anyway? The feel of their tiny hand holding your finger or watching your eight-year old son hitting that ball just like his daddy did years ago....those moments are not replaceable with things..stuff...or even a steak at Outback!

That moment of panic has turned into one of the most wonderful rolls he plays now:

Not just Father, but Daddy.

Randy Jones is truly a Daddy...in every sense of the word!!

Happy Father's Day

Our nighttime routine....

When the sun begins descending behind the tall trees in our backyard, the "nightie-night routine" begins....

A splash-happy bath with four, tiny feet kicking and squeals of laughter. Soap suds cover blond curls and dirty fingers are once again clean. Nice, fluffy towels bring in the finished products and carbon copies lay side-by-side as pajamas are hurriedly pulled over heads.

Tiny toothbrushes are excavating today's menu on little, white teeth. Smiles in abundance! Prayers going up that their mouths will always be filled with His praise....that their words will please Him.

Large glass of our family's popular beverage: water with a touch of "daulic-lemonade" as they call it. (Great way to keep summer mosquitoes and colds at bay!) Tall straw sipping and filling little tummies until they are satisfied.

Two, beautiful boys cuddle close on Mommy's bed to hear stories identifying colors, numbers, alphabet, Cat in God's Tree and Elmo. They are content and happy, so am I.
They help out with all the words.

Now for my favorite part....Lights are turned low and twins are laid all over Mommy like a thick quilt as we begin to sing together. Lullabies....Jesus Is The Sweetest Name I Know....Yes, Jesus Loves Me... A choir of tiny voices fill the Master Bedroom of the Jones' home with praise and worship. Grammar not perfect...pronunciation, that of a typical two-year-old...but beautiful music to my listening ears. We whisper the words of their current memory verse together and say a simple prayer for the night.

Laying there, I silently thank God for every moment He blesses me with my four beautiful children. I am truly blessed. Big brother and sister are patiently waiting their turn of back scratches and prayers in their rooms.

Daddy picks up Lincoln, I take Luke...we say good-night and give last hugs and kisses to each twin. Laying them in their baby beds and turning off light marks the closing of that day and a good night's rest preparing them for a brand new one ahead.

Yes, in only a few years, my dynamic duo (as Daddy puts it) will be tucking thier ownself in bed and, laying heads on soft pillows, whispering a prayer of gratefulness and protection. But for right now... Night-night my little ones....may His love surround you and fill your dreams with happy things.....Mommy loves you.

My life changed forever...

I'm remembering the moment I was introduced to him. He was that handsome and some what shy drummer. It was the very back pew of our old church building that we were introduced for the first time. Little did I know that I would spend the rest of my days with him.

I had high hopes. Dreams. Global dreams. I wanted to travel the world and...oh, the glamour of missionary work! The zeal that youth can bring. Inspiration.


I smile thinking back on those times. So naive and innocent. I had just returned home from a Missions trip to Russia and Finland. Next plan was to attend Bible College. Marriage was the very last thing on my mind.

Funny, how God, in His magnificent Plan, can change things so dramatically! I am always amazed at how He works. Watching it all unfold can be very frustrating at times and sometimes hard to understand....but looking back on the completed work is awesome.

Randy was always such a gentleman. That completely impressed me. His quiet demeanor made me want to get to know him. He wasn't loud and obnoxious like a lot of other guys. But he was always so much fun to be with! (I truly never knew what he saw in me that was impressive. I was so serious!)

The night he revealed his feelings toward me began a wonderful journey of love and friendship that I will forever cherish. We courted (I like those old-fashion words!) for fourteen months and married on a beautiful June afternoon. Our wedding was simple, yet marked by God's presence. My beautiful Momma had worked so hard to make things pretty, but I realize now that His arrival was what really sealed our vows. Knowing that the Lord had a part in our ceremony meant more to me than candles and roses.

My precious daddy walked me down the aisle. I was letting go of his hand and his name to be joined together with my best friend and lover. When I reached Randy's side, I noticed tears in his eyes. "Unforgettable" had played during the wedding party's entrance. That old, vintage song described exactly how I felt at that moment.

In all Randy's reality-thinking, serious, give-it-much-thought-and-prayer ways, he was marrying a fly-by-night-kind-of-woman!

I remember enjoying just getting to be with him 24/7. Now we went home together...in our own little house on Florida Avenue North. Those were amazing and marvelous feelings for me.

Nine years we enjoyed our special togetherness. Late nights, vacations, fancy meals and lots of friends and entertaining made our marriage alive with excitement!

Bro. Solomon from Ethiopia opened up a new avenue of need when he asked one night if we had children. I had wanted one. Randy....no. He told me that they would pray.

Within a short time, Landon Isaac came. Our "Wara Crusade baby". (Ask me about it, if you don't know the story!) Now our lives revolved around this tiny bundle of soft skin and beautiful blue eyes. Our love had produced this amazing new miracle of life. God is so good.

Anna Elizabeth Kaye came two and a half years later with a wonderful pregnancy and delivery. She won the hearts of everyone around her! Her curly ringlets and bright smile still overwhelm me at times. She was my gift from God. My little girlfriend.

During this time, we sold our little love nest and built a new home only a mile or so away. A new neighborhood. Beginning again. Everything seemed new and fresh like a spring morning!

Our lives changed the moment we found out we were having twins....boys....wow! We sat in silence as the ultrasound revealed, not one, but two. This surprise carried us into many months of challenges ahead.

The night my precious husband and I came home from the hospital, it was storming. The older children were with family and our new preemie twins were snuggled in their hospital beds at the Neonatal ICU.

We were alone...together.

Because of the storm, our electricity was off. We ate by candle light and sat silently contemplating the many months ahead of the unknown.

Our love had taken us down this road. It was a time of learning and building....inside.

Exhaustion came. Worry. Fears.....then, through the prayers of others, Faith built a road of hope in our hearts. Our love had to mature through those times. A month of constant travel to the NICU. Monitors and oxygen tanks lined our bedroom. Loud and blaring beeps throughout the night separated our sleeping arrangements and forced us to....love at a distance.....for a while.

Then with each new day came hope.

Happy and healthy little toddler twins running wild on our hardwood floors! Words that make their daddy and me grin and ask for more. Laughing and tickling big brother and sister. Picnics and Andy Griffith. "Bubba's ball night", "Ice-team tone...peese!" and "Hallelulah" fill our ears...and we laugh.

Sacrificing has become a personal journey for us individually. Sacrificing our time.....our interests...our sleep....and, just as we will celebrate and travel together as a family for our 18th Anniversary this coming Sunday, sometimes our dates....yet, we will never sacrifice our love...deep love for one another.

I am always amazed at his interest in me. Those glamorous dreams of my youth are replaced with a different and more meaningful mission. I am his. I can't explain it....I know that in my heart he could have had much better, but he was made for me and I for him.

The day I met Randy Jones my life changed forever.....

Would I do it again? Without a doubt...you bet!

Happy Anniversary, Baby.....I love you.

Savory Veggie Chili...Mmmmm..really good!

My newest chili creation...sooooo good I wanted to share it! Whether you like vegetarian chili or no, this really pleased my taste buds!

In a large pot over med-high and 2 tbsp. olive oil and saute for a 5 minutes:

1 onion (chopped in large chunks)
1 green bell pepper (again, in large chunks)
a small box of fresh, sliced mushrooms
(Kids may not appreciate it, but I really like the chunkyness of the veggies...you could add red bell peppers also)

To this mixture add:

2 cans black beans with juice
1 can garbanzo beans with juice
2 cans large, red kidney beans with juice
1 can tomato sauce
1-2 tbsp. chili powder
1 tbsp. paprika
1 1/2 tsp. salt (or however much you like)
2 tsp. onion powder
2 tsp. garlic salt or fresh, minced garlic
2-3 tsp. natural liquid smoke
1 tsp. cayenne pepper (add more if you aren't feeding kids!)

Let this combo simmer for 20 minutes or so. We did this tonight for supper and it was delicious:

Under the oven broiler, slice whole wheat french bread in half and open the layers. Lightly brown and pour chili over the top (similar to an open-faced sandwich).

Of course, you can add all the "other" chili ingredients to this: cheese, hot dogs, sour cream. We enjoyed it simple tonight with a light salad. It was so easy and....voila! Dinner's ready!

My little boyfriend...

"Momma, you go upstairs and blog!! We'll finish your chores today." a smile spread across his sweet lips and the twinkle in his eyes confirmed his sincerity.

"But...but...I've got to.."

"No, go upstairs!"

The miles that little brain has traveled these past few days! His scruffy brown hair and dirty feet proudly pronounce he is all boy!

Over the past several weeks, I've watched his eyes wide with wonder as he hit that baseball like a wild man swatting at a mosquito! Catching pop fly balls and peering over at the bleachers to see if we saw him get that one out...again.

Contesting on that final championship Bible Quiz game and...yes..he was correct! Receiving the trophy that set his team apart from all others in the State.

He likes to be good...at whatever he does. My little, competitive man.

Oh, the amazing wonder of being his momma!

Sometimes...like this morning, when I received an enormous kiss from his eight-year old lips, I feel a little like the girl on the playground that was brought a love-note from her favorite secret admirer. My heart skips a beat and I know that I'm special to him.

I've been told by sister that there is a friend-girl that he's claiming. Hmmm....not so sure about this. Right now, I want that position. I know what brings smiles to my boy. I like to woo him. I like to feel his arms around my shoulders...squeezing tight! I enjoy the love notes and best momma letters he gives me.

I tenderly watch him care for his siblings. Playing tumble with Luke and baseball with Lincoln. Legos and house with Anna. Watching him read a book to her and hearing them both laugh out loud at the story.

Then there are those moments that are not so fun. Correcting when needed. That look of "I'm sorry, Mom" and sometimes a note of apology given. Hushing that distasteful undertone....learning the importance of kindness and respect. Tears of repentance that follows.

Hearing the seriousness of prayer in his whispered voice. Knowing that there are those special times, when he's usually not aware, that God has used that young voice to speak to peace to my soul. I've never ceased to be amazed at those times. Only God knew I needed to hear that!

I look into his eyes and see some of me...but mostly his daddy. I like that. I see a heart that is tender and sincere. Though there is much growing up to do, I am beginning to see a man emerge.

So..I take him in my arms and hold him...just like the day he was placed there by Dr. Ball on that beautiful October night. I snuggle close to face and just savor the moment....knowing that, all too soon, he will be graduating into the adult that I've prayed eighteen years for him to be.

Who knows where the direction of God's plan will lead him?

Just now he rushes upstairs and announces the completion of the housework. Even to the small details of "hanging up your clothes and putting the twins clothes up...wiping down the counter top and sweeping the house clean."


I certainly cannot lay claim to Best Momma of the Year Award. I know my faults. I'm too familiar with my insecurities and shortcomings as a mother. But this thing I know.....

Like Dave Ramsey, I am blessed beyond what I deserve!

What we do for entertainment....

(Who needs TV when you've got this little guy 24/7? LOL)

Looking for a man?

The simple pleasure of a returned smile from his lips. 18 years of it. All mine. Four wonderful gifts given to me by his love.

Luck? Noooooo. Luck is too iffy. It reminds me of the lottery. Much invested there....maybe, maybe not.

Providence. Grace. His Plan.

I'm grateful. More than thankful.....much more.

Anyone looking for a man? Let my words penetrate your spirit:



Find one that rises early. Earlier than the sun.

You will never have to worry whether or not he will work and support your home.



Find one that prays early. Earlier than the sun.

You will never have to question his integrity, worth or honor.



Find a man that looks another way when a lady of the night meets him in the way....whether by walking at Walmart or viewing Hollywood.

You will always live with trust.



Find a man who loves children...giving them love and attention.

A good daddy can be hard to find.




Other qualities are important...but these are essential. Think they are too much for any man you know?

(Smile tweaks the lips.)

Pray.

You will see.

They are out there.

I know. June 12, 1992 I said "I do" to one.

Spiritual Toxicity

4:45am

Quiet, still morning. All four babies still tucked in sweetly and comfy in their beds. Too early for noise.

Outside..fresh air...grass wet with dew.

Only the morning songs of birds can be heard. Cup of steaming, hot detox tea in hand;) Bible on lap and notepad.

Waiting. Listening.

Light barely peeking over the tree tops.

Heart heavy.

Where does spiritual erosion begin? As a disease, it is so slow...fatigue..lethargy...unconcern...prayer times slipping away...self indulgence... looking for the easy way...

My "Word" opens to a familiar and much loved verse:

"And now, Israel, what doth the Lord thy God require of thee, but to fear the Lord thy God, to walk in all his ways, and to love him, and serve the Lord thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul.
To keep the commandments of the Lord, and his statutes, which I command thee this day for thy good?
Behold, the heaven and the heaven of heavens is the Lord's thy God, the earth also, with all that therein is." Deuteronomy 10:12-14

Toxicity begins in the heart. If left untreated and untamed, it is comparable to a cancer carrying it's poisons to the mind....producing anger, lust, bitterness and, worst of all, self-justification. The end result is spiritual confusion (there is no guidance from Him) and deception (what is real truth anymore?).

I have felt it's lethal injections into my spirit. It has immunized me from being sensitive to His Spirit. I've experienced the distress of living days with SELF as supreme.

But I also know the transforming power of His Spiritual Detox Plan!

Psalms 51:

2) Wash me thoroughly (and repeatedly) from my iniquity and guilt and cleanse me and make me wholly pure from my sin!

3) For I am conscious of my transgressions and I acknowledge them; my sin is ever before me.

4) Against You, You only, have I sinned and done that which is evil in Your sight....

7) Purify me with hyssop clean (ceremonially); wash me, and I shall (in reality) be whiter than snow.

8) Make me to hear joy and gladness and be satisfied...

10) Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering and steadfast spirit within me.

11) Cast me not away from Your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me.

12) Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.


Restoration is beautiful!! The answer is simple:

Psalms 50:23 AMP
"He who brings an offering of praise and thanksgiving honors and glorifies Me; and he who orders his way aright (who prepares the way that I may show him), to him I will demonstrate the salvation of God."

Feeling the struggle? Straining to put on a church act? It doesn't have to be that way....make it real. Let Him come alive again. It will bring power back into your worship. Lifted hands will not be heavy.

Let the heaven and earth sing inside. He wants you. His love is fresh. He is faithful.

Invest in Jesus.

"His desire is toward me. He is altogether lovely. He is my beloved..."

Schools Out!!!

Whew!! This incredibly wonderful room we call school room two-thirds of the year, has been redecorated, cleaned and ready for the summer months of now fun and play! Working through the rubble of curriculum books, calendars, flashcards, pencils and notebooks, we finally accomplished the glorious year-end of Kindergarten and Second Grade. My eight-year-old scrubbed walls and curly girl vacuumed floors with anticipation that today was IT! Smiling and singing, I remembered the last day of school as a kid. It was like waiting for Christmas to arrive! No more schedules, no more early mornings of cereal, no more tests and cranky teachers :) (I'm sure, at this moment, my kiddies are thinking the same thing: FREEDOM!!!)

But...it's different for me now. As I gently close their little books and fold the countless art projects, math pages and put their readers along side the other books in the bookshelf, I feel a bit down. Their childlike handwriting...seeing the fulfilling progress throughout the year of reading, writing, math, Bible memory, etc....the many field trips, nature trail walks, nursing home services and shows at the Dixie.....those sweet "Honor Roll" dates we would take them on when they completed each school day's requirement for the month.... I feel so blessed to have enjoyed each of these moments with them.

We never dreamed we would go down this road. Home Education was not our cup of tea! We wanted better for our kids....until they came. Now we are hooked!

Education has taken on a whole new meaning for me. I've been given a responsibility from their Creator. It's more than textbooks...it's lifestyles. It's attitudes and accountability. At this point, my heart cuts me with guilt. What are they really learning from me?

I'm beginning to feel like this is more of a learning experience for me than it is them.

Summer is coming and it's time to.....

just be mommy.

Be blessed!!!!

Gifts....

Emma Louise Spencer....

Our latest addition to the family! She is a delightful bundle of beauty. Soft, rosy cheeks and an overabundance of blond hair! Holding her will give anyone the paternal desire to want...hmmm, better not say that here ;)

Her mommy is a delight to me. I consider it a privilege to be related to someone so very special.

Memories take me back to a day when we sat on the old pews of our Uncle James' church. Each girl-cousin sat side by side looking (what we thought) very stylish and classy with our large, square, fake glasses on! Everyone was fooled...but only for a while ;)

The love, laughter and special togetherness we've shared. Living under the same roof for a few months during our "pre-wed" days. Whew! We learned alot and really didn't realize it at the time! The generosity of aunts and uncles and their encouraging words.

When I see this beautiful woman that I call "cousin", I see a woman of inner strength, talent, kindness, tactful grace and, most of all, a Woman of God.

There have been hard times...struggles...challenges...that seem to pull every ounce of joy from our soul. But...Faith has been the balance that has kept Endurance strong.

Emma Louise, you are blessed!

Although you've breathed in this fresh, May air only a few days, your life has been favored. God has placed you in the arms of a most gracious Lady to call Mommy. You've been given parents that love Him above all. A beautiful, big sister that, may wish you were sent back to the hospital...but only for a few days, will teach you how to play, potty and sing!

Although you are a gift, you've been given a gift.....a loving home.

When I held you in my arms yesterday, my heart spoke the words that often come from my lips during the first moments I see a new baby, "Here, O Israel, the Lord our God is one....and thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart." That is something very special that your mommy and daddy will instill in you. May these words be permanently bound to every corner of your heart, mind and soul. They are the answers to all of life's questions. Loving Him. It really is that simple, Emma Louise.

I love your new name. It has an elegant sound to it! You carry the name of your great grandmother. That's important.....knowing who you are. Too many are confused about this. It's easy to become that way in this generation. Follow closely in His steps and you will never become confused, baby girl.

You are beautiful and I wish you the very best this new life has to offer you!

Love,

Aunt Dar